The future is ours and you don’t even rate a footnote, now! - M. Stipe
Sometimes, the internet life crosses over into real life. On ocassion, it is reality. At other times, we let it become reality. Distinguishing between the two can be difficult, and leads to differing perspectives. A case in point:
I used to post on a couple of cigar forums. I liked the political banter between the old, cigar chomping Republicans and the designer smoke, liberal crowd. Things got heated, but it always came back to the love of the leaf, when it got too personal. Through one of these forums, I discovered a website devoted to Playa del Carmen. It was a business site that was run by a local couple (we will call them Sven and Marika) who had carved out a nice niche in the competitve world that is Playa del Carmen. The site sold customized tours, and helped tourists book hotels and condos. It also contained a forum, where people discussed Playa, politics, sports, music and a variety of other topics. I joined and immediately jumped in the mix. I liked the banter and, especially, the political threads (lots of liberals to fix
).
After a while, I actually started to meet some of the people who posted on the forum. For a couple of years, the forum members, who could, would all come to Playa at the same time and have what they labeled a “Fest”. Over the course of the week, different events would be held and dozens, if not a hundred and something, people would gather. One of these events was the Luna Blue Burger and Blender Bash, held in the garden of a wonderful, little hotel. The owners of the hotel (who we shall refer to by their real names, Tony and Cheri) were wonderful hosts. They paid, out of pocket, for all of the booze and entertainment, which was no small amount of pesos. They walked around from group to group, making sure everyone was having a good time. When they found out I didn’t drink, they made sure I was made a frozen fruity drink from a clean blender. They donated nights in the hotel as door prizes.
Meanwhile, Sven and Marika were on top of the world. Their website had been responsible for gathering all these people and they walked around like royalty. They sold quite a few t-shirts at a nice profit margin (remember I live here, so I know how much a t-shirt runs), and enjoyed Tony and Cheri’s hospitality. Tony and Cheri’s hotel had advertised on Sven and Marika’s site, and they both benefitted from the arrangement. Of course, the hotel paid commissions to the site for customers that were sent their way.
When Hurricane Dean destroyed the town of Mujahual (south of Playa) and the surrounding villages, Tony and Cheri led a campaign that raised over $35,000 to help. They made countless runs with much needed supplies, in their van, with the money raised. Thanks to them, people without food and drinking water were given some relief. I am going to go out on a limb, here, but I believe I (on my peso income) contributed more than the website (who must have thought that they were doing their part just by “allowing” the call for help to be published). Hell, even my dad (in the US) contributed more.
Fast foward a year or so. A couple who planned to stay at the Luna Blue, asked if Tony and Cheri could help them and some friends book an excursion on a catamaran. Being the helpful types, they said “sure”. After the arrangements had been made, the couple decided to see if some other people might want to join them, so they posted a thread (exactly like hundreds before) with the dates. Sven must have been doing his daily “looking under the sofa for change” routine, when he ran across the thread. Outraged that he hadn’t been consulted, he fired off a private message asking for his commission. At this point, the dollar amount we are talking about probably wouldn’t have paid for a case of beer. Tony and Cheri responded, claiming that Sven had no commission due to him, as this was not done through his company. That is when the shit hit the fan.
Sven decided to take a business dispute onto his forum. He, essentially, accused the hotel of reneging on their contractural obligations. When the owners of the hotel decided to argue their case, Sven banned them from his site. Well, many didn’t take too kindly to that action, and said so. They were told to STFU or risk the same. After considering this, and recalling the attempted cover up of damage done to Playa, after Hurricane Wilma (“You can’t post those photos!, We have to make a living. Tell everyone that nothing happened.”), I decided to call it quits, and said my goodbye’s. One of the most respected members, and a moderator, did the same. A few others followed. What was a simple business dispute over a few dollars soon became a war over what was right and wrong. People chose up sides. Some turned a blind eye. Others, seeing an opportunity to kiss some ass and become “someone” on the forum, even went as far as to try to ruin the reputation of the hotel and its owners. The forum owners tried to do the same.
Those that left, found a new home on another Playa site. They were given a forum to air their grievances. This did not sit well with Sven, who decided to ban the name of that forum from his site. Meanwhile, more and more people were being banned, including an entire group of people who liked to chat, late at night. This just further enflamed the situation. Stronger and stronger words were used to describe Sven and his minions. Those minions would make frequent visits to the new website in order to justify their “blindness” or just to stir shit. A lot were run off, as they soon found that when not in the protective cocoon on their like minded friends, they didn’t have the balls to discuss the subject. (I will add that I, displaying a character defect, even went back to the old site, under another name, to get in some digs. I ain’t too proud of that, BTW.)
The whole dispute has not been limited to the internet. Real friendships (if they ever were real, that is) have been broken. In a small ex-pat community, everyone seems to know everyone else’s business. That is why I stay on the other side of the highway, for the most part. People were told by some to either be quiet or risk a friendship. Well, you know how that usually goes. A big “Fuck you!” being the normal response.
Errors have been made by all parties concerned. Some have apologized for those errors, and some never will. Sven and Marika no longer live here. That is a good thing, I reckon. Hard to imagine it being worse, but that certainly would be a catalyst to making it so. We can all be fooled by how people present themselves on the net. Just because you relate to someone in a cyber sense does not make them a “friend.” It is when push comes to shove, and choices between right and wrong are called for, that you see who is worthy of your friendship. It is disappointing, but not surprising, that not many people are willing to give up what they consider to be a benefit in their lives over a moral issue. People have no problem talking shit about WalMart and deciding not to shop there, over non-union workers. They may boycott a gas station over price gouging. They may even put a block on Fox News, because they consider it too biased. But, when it comes down to not having another option, few people are willing to take a stand that leaves them on the outside looking in. It is those kind of people that I want in my circle of friends.
After some time, it now seems that many are moving on and letting it go. Personally, there are some people who I never want to run across, again. I have nothing to say to them. My contempt tank is running on empty. I have forgiven, but I haven’t forgotten. Of course, everyone has their own version of events. This just happens to be mine. If anyone feels singled out or hurt, I refer them to the Mexican expression of “Ni modo”.
